Alcohol is a cynosure. I mean, it's brilliant and draws people toward it, and lubricates social settings, and provokes intimate moments between people. It's such a good gift.
That being said, I really think we all need to have a little come to Jesus moment about it. Whenever I drink, I like to eat food first. Then I proceed to drink and will only eat again once I've consumed my share of alcohol. For some strange reason, I can't eat food while I'm drinking. It must be once I've consumed all the alcohol for the night. Unfortunately, I have this delicious sandwich in the fridge and I keep saving it for when I get home and I'm drunk or went out for a few drinks but was still okay to drive. You know, the usual.
But I can't eat this goddamn sandwich! I get home and I immediately fall asleep without getting to enjoy this delicious gift from God.
And I know all of you will just be all, "Oh, just eat the sandwich sober." It's not that easy. It's a specially made sandwich that maximizes the drunk taste buds. It only tastes amazing drunk!
Meanwhile another child in Africa died from starvation and I'm complaining about a sandwich I can't eat. On the internet.
Priorities.
